Couples Therapy Approaches
EFT
I use Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy in my practice with couples. This model was developed by Sue Johnson.
Dr. Johnson says, “This approach to seeing relationships – as an attachment bond – and shaping more loving relationships is leading the couple relationship field into a new understanding of romantic love. We now have a map to the territory called love and we can empower couples by showing them new systematic ways to take control of the dances of disconnection and conflict… and help each other move into the open close embrace that is a secure loving bond.”
The Gottman Method
You may have heard of The Gottman Method, or it may be new to you. It is scientifically-based therapy born out of over 40 years of research on what makes marriages succeed or fail. John Gottman can predict, hearing only 15 minutes of a couple argue, if that couple will divorce or not with a 96% accuracy. That's pretty amazing!
The Gottman Method has specific interventions for communication issues, as well as a specific process for affair recovery. Sometimes couples therapy can be a little confusing or murky - what are we doing here? What are we really working on? The Gottman Method is clear, and has an outlined approach to helping you communicate better and increase your positive interactions.
The Gottman Method also provides current technology to help you connect outside of session. There are multiple apps that you can use on date nights, or in the bedroom, to ask each other questions and get to know each other in ways you haven't before. Often couples just don't know where to start, or what to say to each other, when they are trying to reconnect again. The Gottman Method has you covered.
Brene Brown’s Trust Model
Brene Brown recently said that, “trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else. Distrust is when I have shared with you something important to me and it is not safe with you.”
B- Boundaries - “I trust you if you’re clear with your boundaries and you hold space for mine”
R- Reliability- You do what you say you’re going to do with consistency (not just once, but over and over)
A- Accountability- If you make a mistake, you own it and make amends.
V- Vault- When I share with you, you hold this in confidence.
I- Integrity- 1- Chose courage over comfort 2-chose what’s right over what’s fun, fast and easy, 3-practice your values instead of just professing them
N- Non judgement- I can struggle and ask for help without fear of judgement.
G- Generosity- Assume positive intent and make generous assumptions about me.
Individual Therapy Approach
IFS
Internal Family Systems is a transformative, evidence-based psychotherapy that helps people heal by accessing and loving their protective and wounded inner parts. We believe the mind is naturally multiple and that is a good thing. Just like members of a family, inner parts are forced from their valuable states into extreme roles within us. We also all have a core Self.
Self is in everyone. It can’t be damaged. It knows how to heal.
By helping people first access their Self and, from that core, come to understand and heal their parts, IFS creates inner and outer connectedness.
If you’d like to learn more about IFS, click here